Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Grandma Jib, One Falling Leaf

Since I've been worry about it for a while, finally, the bad news came yesterday at noon in New York, midnight in Thailand. My sister called me from Bangkok that grandma Jib, my mom's mother, has passed way five minutes ago at her home in Nakorn Si Tammarat province, in the southern part of Thailand. Even though it was kind of thing that we all knew it would happen since she was in her comas for about two weeks, I am still in disbelieve that she is now really gone.

It was a natural cause of an eighty nine year-old women. In a state of her two weeks, she can't speak or move herself anymore - she didn't remember anybody or anything, just lay quietly in her bed. She had been in a hospital for a while, finally, the doctors said that they couldn't do anything much anymore and everybody understood what it meant.

She was taken back to her home, finally. Mom has been traveling back and fort between our home and grandma's for all those times- about fifteen minutes drive, and was at grandma side when she took the last breath in her bed. Mom put a little sculpture of Buddha in grandma's hands and prayed to her ears. The words of Buddha will lead the spirit up to the place where it belongs to. Mom has been taking care of her mom for all her life and she's done it to the last. She always says "Do It Now, so you don't have to say 'I should have done it' when it's all too late to do so."

And now those words have come back and bite me. I haven't seen grandma Jib, at least, for three years, and I feel really bad and guilty that I should have seen her more. The more I grow up, the further I move far away from my hometown. Now I am 22hrs. fly from New York to Thailand. We just made out our plan that we will be able to go back home around September to visit everybody. When I first heard the news about grandma's conditions, I kept praying that she will be fine and we will see each other at her home eventually.

Even though I am not as close to grandma Jib as my brothers and my sister are because I grew up in a different town from them, far way form my parents' s and grandma's, still, I got to see her every school breaks.

There are still a lot of good memories we all have with grandma Jib. She is a super lovely and kind woman who loves to laugh and says things funny in her own ways. I used to joke with her that I would write an encyclopedia about what she says from the fact that some of the words that she uses, I've never heard them before since I remember growing up. They are words of an old-southern-dialect that whenever she says it, it will make us laugh till our stomach hurt and she loves it, she loves making everybody laugh.

Now, it's time for her to rest and reunite with grandpa Tim who, I believe, has been waiting to see her for one more time for fifteen years. Mom told me that while grandmas was in the hospital, one day she said in her half sleep, "Have you seen your father? He came to day." Where ever she's gone, she still be with us for the rest of our life. I don't really know how it feels like when I go back to grandma's house and don't see her there anymore. As far as I remember she was always there at her home waiting for us to get busy in her orchard. I will miss her so much.

We still have another grandma, grandma Pand, my dad's mother, who lives with my parents and aunt at our house. She is now ninety two year-old, very old and still going strong, never be in the hospital. We always say to her to stay as strong and as long as she can, and she promises. I know I will see her soon.

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